Random Ramblings

2011-11-09T15:59:00.003-05:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

NOVEMBER 9, 2011
CONTACT: SARAH BEACHY
770.655.2027

LOCAL GIRL CELEBRATES ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY ON 11-11-11

(Mableton, GA) - Local fifth grader, Elyse Beachy, of Cobb County, GA, has an extraordinary birthday on Friday. She will turn 11 years old on 11/11/11. Her family will mark the occasion with a Hollywood theme party with family and friends Friday night.

"It's going to be one of the best days of my life!" Elyse, the birthday girl, said.

Known by some as a 'golden' birthday when a person turns the same age as their birth date, having the age, month, day and year all coincide is truly remarkable.

Elyse was born on November 11, 2000, in Columbus, Ohio, to parents Josh and Sarah Beachy. The family moved to Georgia in 2006 and currently reside in Mableton. Elyse attends Whitefield Academy and can be found most weekends riding her bike on the Silver Comet Trail.

-30-

Things I Learned Today (But really should have known already)

2011-07-15T15:05:00.019-04:00

1) Only the tips of the strawberries are edible to a two year old.

2) When I say, “Get up and get dressed! We have to leave for Little Gym in ten minutes,” the 10 year old hears, “Why don’t you stay in your pajamas and play with the baby for ten minutes.”

3) For the hour we are away from the house and I forget the diaper bag, the baby will poop.

4) Humidity and graham crackers don’t mix.

5) I can save a lot of money on zoo and aquarium memberships by just going to the pet store.

6) When I say, “Pack yourself a snack and water for camp later while I feed the baby,” the 10 year old hears, “Why don’t you make a messy experiment in the kitchen while not eating any lunch before you go to camp for the afternoon.”

7) There is enough speed in just putting the minivan in reverse to do this to my side mirror.

8) Two year olds can learn to say 'sh*t' really fast.

Happy 7th Birthday

2011-05-21T00:01:00.001-04:00

I'm trying to figure out what to write. It's Jacob's 7th birthday. There is a lot a want to say about lessons I've learned and how far I've come in my grieving. I want to share the video Josh and I did for our church on a series called "Plan B." And I want to tell you all about Max. But it would all be a distraction from just pausing to celebrate this day.

Maybe it will hit me more tomorrow but right now, I'm looking forward to spending some time at a birthday party for a friend's little girl and releasing balloons for Jacob later that day. Seems like the best way to spend tomorrow is to celebrate life and the love we share while we have it down here on earth (and if the rapture does occur, then bring it on so my family can be together!)

Believe me, I miss him. There is a hole in my heart and my home will never feel quite right because he is not here with us. But having these three other beautiful children has put us on the path to living more fully, and I'm sure that is what Jacob wants for us most of all. So let's celebrate the birthday of my beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed little man. Love you Jacob!

Max

2011-05-20T22:43:00.004-04:00

Wow, three months have gone by since last updating. Friends on Facebook know that we had a wonderful baby boy, Max. To our total surprise he really did have a problem with his heart. Five days old, he had surgery to correct a coarc of the aorta. He did beautifully and continues to grow more awesome everyday. I will tell this story more completely another time.

BBB2

2011-02-28T13:36:00.003-05:00

Little update on BBB - Don't think I have mentioned here that he has an extra superior vena cava on the left side of his heart which was declared a 'normal variance.' All fetuses have two but the left side usually goes away. Well, we've kept an eye on everything and they think there may be a thickening about where it enters the heart. Basically they are watching for a coarctation of the aorta (one of the simpler problems that Jacob had.) Nothing will really be known until after he's born and the ductus closes and his heart pumps on it's own. It may totally clear up. There are no problems with any valves or septums, or any other parts of the body. He's measuring right on schedule.

While there is a nicu at the hospital, a cardiologist isn't always around, and they don't want me to go past my due date at all, so as of now, if I don't go into labor on my own, I will have an induction on March 3. You may ask, what if I go into labor at 3 am earlier than March 3? Hmm, I'm not sure and need to ask about that.

Anyway, don't freak out. He'll be followed closely by a cardiologist no matter what and everyone is on the same page. And there would be no immediate danger. It's a very gradual thing (Jacob didn't have surgery on it until 3 months) if the coarc is there.

Of course, we pray it all clears up, but if it does not go they way we want, we will trust in God. (I'm trying to, at least.)

crazy

2011-02-01T21:49:00.002-05:00

Two mentions today of my blog and lack of postings. Luckily, I've been living life and growing a new baby which makes one considerably tired. I knew I had some unpublished thoughts on here so I'm posting this that I wrote September 29, 2009, after Jellybean was born.
___________________________________

I wish I were crazy. A break with reality would be easier sometimes. Don't get me wrong -- I've come to accept where I am in my life right now. But for months after Jacob died, I wished I would go crazy. If my mind could only go to an alternate reality where everything was still ok.

Now I dream of a different reality - where I have all three kids together. They all pile into our bed on Saturday mornings. They roll around and mess up the beds while I am trying to change the sheets and jump into the pillows piled on the floor. The house is loud and crazy all the time. Jacob wants to play outside as soon as he wakes up. His best friend is also five years old and lives next door. He started school this year and is so cute in his blue polo and khaki shorts with his blond hair. How hectic would my life be with three? I'd be tired, but I'd be happy.

So I wait to be old and secretly hope I'll lose my mind and live in the alternate reality where I have all three children with me and watch them all grow up. Until then, I find the idea of Armageddon or the apocalypse not so frightening just so my family can all be together.

2010-11-06T22:44:00.007-04:00

"Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, the best known superbug, now kills more Americans each year than AIDS."

Andrew Pollack, Antibiotics Research Subsidies Weighed by U.S.,The New York Times, November 5, 2010.

Are You Blessed?

2010-10-20T23:40:00.006-04:00

Have you ever noticed how people use the word 'blessed?' "I'm blessed with two children." "I'm blessed with a nice home and two cars." "I'm blessed with a good head of hair." Saying such things inherently implies that someone without those things are not blessed, doesn't it? Do we actually mean 'lucky?' I guess some people have a problem with that because they don't believe in luck. It's either through hard work, you earned such n such, or maybe God controls all things so you were just meant to have it.

I think people use 'blessed' when they are trying to not take credit and invoke God's power and guidance in their life. I guess if God answers your prayer, you are 'blessed.' But it still begs the question, if your prayer is not answered in the way you want or you are not given what you want, are you not 'blessed?'

¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. ¹⁸ But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3 NIV

I may need to scan my own writing for the use of that word.

2010-09-22T13:09:00.006-04:00

Sorry I have been so quiet. Guess I have been living life instead of pausing to write about it.

There are some great things in the works. E has started 4th grade and I get to learn what a diorama is. So glad Hobby Lobby has complete kits for these things. Little J (15 months) is going down the slide by herself and can even whistle! Oh, and I'm pregnant. Surprise, surprise even for us.

The basement is pretty much done. I'm so proud of it. I've never created a space from scratch before. There is still tweaking to be done but I'm so happy to have a place for the kids to play. E even has her own 'classroom.'

Before:

After:

2010-07-21T13:43:00.002-04:00

Hi Sweet Bubby Boy. I miss you.

You'd have a lot of fun with your sisters. Juliet is starting to walk and likes playing with all sorts of toys. She looks at your pictures a lot and is always pointing at you. I don't know if she will understand that you are her brother but you are not here. I just don't know how to explain that.

I'm sorry I didn't fight harder for you. I'm sorry for all the times I was impatient. I'm trying to do a better job now.

Thanks for the butterflies.

-Momma

moving forward

2010-02-27T23:04:00.013-05:00

There is a Bernstein Bears book (about Easter) where Momma explains to Sister how plants are still alive and they are underground even when there is a blanket of snow covering everything. Eventually, the crocuses pop out one day and there are baby bird eggs in the nests.

While half the United States is frozen under snow, it can be hard to remember how all the earth is moving beneath us, until we're violently shaken as Haiti and Chile have. I guess that's how I'm feeling now...life has been quiet the last two or three months - but a good quiet - and I know enough now to enjoy it. Maybe it's the cold weather. Or lack of any major holidays to throw us off schedule. And it's the middle of the school year and activities and routines are set. Enough to make a person bored!

But, no, I don't wish for it to pass because I feel some rumbles under my feet. Juliet sprouted teeth one week and is going for real people food the next. She's standing on her own for a few seconds and can almost get anywhere she wants.

Elyse went on her first overnight class trip this week,
and I find myself enjoying her more like a friend in our conversations. Plus, she can wear my shoes
and with a little hemming, wore a cocktail dress
of mine to the father/daughter dance. Eeek!

I think our church is about to announce it is moving locations to accommodate a bigger audience and parking and I'm just not quite sure how I feel about that. There may be some movement in jobs with family members and we are getting our basement finished so I can have the playroom for the kids I've always wanted.

These are all wonderful, blessed events, though. And the steps toward each and everyone has been gradual but things do seem to bloom all at once, don't they? The seeds were planted and the growth occurring all along these last few months. And now, POP, fruition.

2010-02-06T23:15:00.003-05:00

Just reflecting on what a day of cultural experiences we've had! First, mom and dad called from China (on Skype) just to check in. Then, I met my friend's grandmother from Haiti so I got to speak a little French (to which she high-fived me. ha!) Then we ate and karaoke-ed on Buford Highway (the closest thing to China Town in Atlanta.) And E spent the evening with her Christian-Indian friend and ate authentic Indian food. Yeah, us! Tomorrow, SuperBowl food.

In case you were wondering, Jellybean stuck to her American sweet potatoes and fruit puffed stars.

choices

2010-01-20T14:09:00.014-05:00

So much to say and it's been so long. I just don't have time to write anymore. This baby-caring business is full time. And if I want to do it happily, I must get adequate sleep. Boy, do I get grouchy when I get tired.

Christmas was good. I was not looking forward to traveling to Ohio with a baby but Jellybean proved to be resilient. She really liked being around the extended family. I usually find babies are wary of men, especially those with beards, but she seems to like the uncles and grandpas even better that way.

I was particularly glad we got to see J's grandmother (the girls' great-grandmother.) Of course, we didn't get any pictures because we're losers but hey...

And I just can't say enough about our family and friends who welcome all of us into their homes, even on short notice. And sometimes I worry about my friends without kids, liking my kids, but that was definitely not a problem. I think E would be glad to hang for a weekend with Stacy or Jill.

We drove by our old house and grew nostalgic. E said she would like to move back. I think the snow on the ground influenced her, but it does beg the question. What would our life look like if we hadn't moved to Atlanta?

Random pictures of cuteness:
Christmas Dresses

Why is this thing on my head?

Playing in the snow

What do I do again?

Aunt Paula

My DSi!

Uncle Jerry

2009-11-10T15:56:00.003-05:00

Two years ago, in the midst of trying to understand why God would let Jacob die, my daughter brought home her weekly Bible verse to memorize. It lay on the table before me. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5. I kept it on the refrigerator ever since as a reminder.

Just last week, I took all the odd and end papers off the refrigerator in an effort to de-clutter, including that Bible verse. I figured I knew it pretty well and have come to a better place with Jacob's death.

Monday, while doing her homework, E said, "I don't have to memorize my Bible verse this week because I learned it in first grade." I said, "Oh yeah? What is it?" She replied, "Proverbs 3:5-6." And she proceeded to quote it.

I put it back on the fridge.

2009-10-20T09:36:00.002-04:00

I'm going to write again; I promise. I think of things all the time but don't have the time to sit down and type it all out.

My iphone got a new update last week: voice memos. I've been talking into that to make my mental notes. I'm trying to exercise again so I have to get that in while Juliet is sleeping. So off I go! But, first, I wanted to share this 'cause it fits me perfectly today.

Q. Why do babies poop just when you’re walking out the door with them?

A. Because it took you an hour to feed them, burp them, wipe their chins and neck folds, dress them in warm clothes, and snap them into the car seat. You’ve gotta get faster! Then, they’ll poop just as you arrive at your destination.

Q. Why do babies start to cry when you’re talking on the phone?

A. Because of that one time you tried to multitask and pick up baby when you were talking on the phone. The phone squirted out from between your ear and shoulder and bonked baby on the head. Now, your child will have phone-o-phobia for the rest of her life. Don’t fret: This will come in handy for you when she’s a teenager.

Q. How can babies sleep through the wailing of a fire engine, but wake up because you accidentally creaked the stairs?

A. Because they have tiny bat ears. Very small sounds fit inside perfectly.

Q. When my baby is sleeping, I find myself gazing down at her face, wondering if this beautiful child can possibly be mine. Is this normal?

As normal as you’ll ever be, from here on out. In a related vein, you don't have long before your kids tell you your singing and dancing suck.

Q. When my baby scrunches up her face and sort of smiles, but sort of looks uncomfortable, is she gassy? Or is it a real smile?

Neither. She’s just looking you thinking, “I can’t believe this is my mother. She has this weird look on her face, sort of like she’s smiling, but also like she’s maybe in pain. I wonder if it’s normal, or if I should be worried she's got gas. Also: Her singing and dancing? They suck."

The Mommy Chronicles, May 4, 2006, "Why Babies Do That"

my lie

2009-09-29T00:21:00.003-04:00

I lied today.

I didn't mean to. I didn't set out to do it. It just came out of my mouth without much thought. It's just easier than the truth so I said it.

"Is this your first child?," she asked referring to Juliet.
"No, she's the third actually," I said.
"Oh, how old are the others?"
"Eight and five," I said.
"Boy and girl?," she asked.
"Yes. The eight year old is a girl and the five year old is a boy."
"Ah, so you're done then?"
"Yeah."

I say it fast and vaguely. For a milli-second I might even imagine it's real. Yes, my son started kindergarten this year and my older daughter is in third grade. They are both wonderful and love having a little baby sister.

It's the lie I want to believe. It's the lie I want to be true.

better 2gether

2009-08-26T22:12:00.005-04:00

Ever have one of those days? Have you had one where the baby is soaked with pee and poop because the diaper tabs keep breaking and screaming from hunger, and the dog is shedding all over the car still scared stiff from the trip to the vet, and you just picked up an ice cream cake for your husband's birthday and it's 95 degrees outside so you can't leave the dog or the cake in the car while you stop to feed or clean up the baby? Oh, and I forgot my water (did I mention it was 95 degrees and I'm breastfeeding?) and my phone.

What to do?!?! Hard left turn to the nearest friend's house! She answered the door, gave me a towel for the baby and the dog a bowl of water. Amazing.

In the last few days, my friends have supplied and even picked up books from the library for my daughter's mandatory reading list for school. One even picked up some of the hard to find school supplies for us over the summer. Actually, I could make a very long list all the help we've received just from having the baby this summer. I cannot imagine making it without this support group of women in my life. And it's not just in actions, but the emotional support, especially over the last two years. Some of these ladies aren't even people I talk to regularly. But, push come to shove, they will come through for you!

So it was quite fitting when the message this week at church was "Better Together." Basically, we need each other. I will be the first to admit that people often make me angry or irritable and I think I would be better off alone. A lot of times I don't feel like talking to anyone but I can often take that too far and let it become a depression. It's a spiral of bad thoughts and bad feelings of which nothing good can come. The only thing that helps is other people (and coffee. Coffee cures a lot for me.) God put each one of here for a reason: to help each other. I hope I can help someone else out today.

I say all this as one big 'thank you' to all my friends and even acquaintances that have helped, encouraged or smiled at me over these 30+ years. I could not have made it through this far without you.

beginning another year

2009-08-18T09:57:00.006-04:00

3rd grade has officially started!

Wow, I have a two month old and an eight year old. Sometimes it strikes me how different in age they are. And I still don't know how to correct people when they say Jellybean is our second child and ask E how she likes being a big sister. She's been one before! But I'll focus on the positive: I have two wonderful, sweet girls. Jellybean sleeps through the night (sometime 6 am, sometimes 8 am) and E is happy & healthy. And Josh loves all of us enough to come back home everyday!

We had a nice last day of summer break yesterday. We met Josh for lunch at Applebee's. I nursed Jellybean in the car and then we hit Office Max for last minute school supplies and then to Costco. E pushed Jellybean in her stroller while I pushed the big cart. She was so patient and entertained herself and Jellybean. Another lady even complimented her. Of course, this is what I expect of her but I hope she knows just how much appreciate her kind heart and general enthusiasm for the everyday. Afterwards, we stopped by Baskin Robbins for a color-changing sprinkles ice cream cone for her and a boston creme donut for me! After dropping off the groceries and giving Jellybean a bubblebath, we headed off for her school's open house and family festival. It's always a nice reunion for the kids and parents! And we even borrowed another set of grandparents to hold Jellybean while we ate. Thanks Howards!

the second anniversary

2009-07-22T09:47:00.002-04:00

I updated the main blog page today to more accurately reflect what this blog has come to be: my journal of my thoughts and feelings surrounding death and dying. I'm not the chit-chat type and am pretty bad at keeping the g-rents up-to-date on what is happening in our lives. So I thought I would do it here. Turns out, I still don't sit down and write about what E did in school that day or what we did over the weekend. I've always kept a journal of sorts on my computers. It wasn't a daily thing - just when I had a bunch of thoughts in my head that I needed to sort out and I found writing them was the best way. Now, it seems I use the blog to do the same. It's as if I am throwing this out to the universe and maybe I'll get some knowledge back. I know the topics aren't easy and will probably make people sad. I often cry when writing them. But it's the only time I stop and let myself reflect. And that is also why I don't write all that frequently. (A new baby has also shortened my free time.) I don't let myself stop too often because I am afraid to feel the hurt.

So I say all that to acknowledge that yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of Jacob's death. Some people call it an 'angel birthday.' Maybe. Josh & I didn't talk about it much. That's just how we are. There wasn't anything to do to acknowledge it. What would you do? We celebrate his birthday. I don't feel the need to do anything on this day.

What I fear is reliving the day he died. I can play it over and over in my mind. I know the conversations I had telling my parents and my sister. I remember the call from the nurse in the middle of the night telling me Josh says I need to get to the hospital immediately. I remember running as fast as I could out of the Ronald McDonald house, across the parking lot and through the hospital. The feeling that this has to be a scene from a movie and not my reality. Pinch me because I cannot be awake, please, please, please, God. Please, this cannot be happening. No, no, no! That's all I could say when they told me he was arresting and they may not be able to get him back. And do we want the chaplain? They never called her before. No, no, no. I don't know how I will go on without him. Everything is falling apart. How did we get to this point? How did this all go so wrong? The doctors have to be able to figure something out. Any second he will recover. But they bring us in to say goodbye. And the chaplain baptizes him. I ask him to come back to us. Don't go, Jacob. Don't go. Don't leave us. No, no, no.

They all leave and I hold him for the last time. my boy. my baby boy.

I love you, always and forever.

deep thoughts

2009-07-06T15:39:00.002-04:00

Had lots of thoughts swirling through my head but not a lot of time to write them down. (Maybe I need to carry a voice recorder around with me like a doctor or a detective on tv.) Like the other day, I had a whole commentary running in my mind about the sign on a local church bulletin board. It read, "God has a plan. Are you in it?" What the h-e-double hockey sticks does that mean? God only accepts those who accept him? If you're not with him, you're against him? You need a membership card? I don't believe that is how unconditional love works, people. So I wanted to rant but I'm going to pass...this time.

I have another deep topic that I've wanted to write about for some time. A couple of months ago, Elizabeth Edwards was interviewed by Oprah. The promotion was all about her husband's affair and, I admit, I was interested to hear about that, too, but what struck me was what she had to say about her battle with cancer and her son dying. She said, "Death looks different to someone who has placed a child in the ground. It's not as frightening and a relief."

Now, this may sound as if she is resigned to the fact that she will die and maybe that she has given up. But she has three other children, two of which are rather young. I don't believe that is what she meant at all. And, I rather agree. In fact, the reality of death and being so close to someone who has died just might free us to live life even more fully because we lack the fear of death.

Let me be clear: I am not saying we drive recklessly or would jump from an airplane without a parachute. We're not suicidal. But we do look forward to being with our sons again. I don't know what heaven will be like and I'm not saying I'm guaranteed to go there (yes, I believe Jesus is my Savior but I'm pretty darn stubborn and don't call as often as I should.) But I really, really, really, hope it's real enough that I can hold Jacob again and watch him grow.

(Tangent here: I read one book about grieving a few weeks after Jacob died that claimed that we won't even recognize our children when we meet them in heaven because they will have grown up. First, how can the author know that much about heaven? And in what f-uped mind does the author think we'll even be in these bodies? The theology was so shotty I couldn't read any more. But anyway...)

So what's my point? I guess it's a question. Do you fear death? I practically yelled at my mom when she told me after Jacob died that she did not anymore. I told her that Jacob doesn't want us to give up on this life and we need to keep living. I was probably just trying to convince myself of that and I've come to feel the same way. It's just not scary. I'll still do all I can to stay alive because it is a wonderful thing but I think I'll be ok when it does.

My Sweeties!

2009-06-25T10:02:00.003-04:00

Here are my two sweet girls!

After dropping E off at VBS this morning, I was reflecting how re-complete our family feels. Not that we were ever not happy with just E, and not that Jellybean takes the place of Jacob, but I feel our family is more well-rounded again. Maybe it's because we got used to having two kids but it feels better on a deeper level. It's still a very mixed-emotion situation. Loving someone else so much makes me miss loving Jacob even more (not that I stop loving him, but having that love grow as he grows). And I am so thankful for her health because of the struggle Jacob had. But I also get kind of mad all over again that he did not have a 'normal' infancy. I even have feelings of trying to be careful of her chest while burping her (as we had to do with Jacob because of his heart surgeries.) Just the other night, I felt the need to give her 8 o'clock medicines. (All of Jacob's life he received heart medication at 8 am and 8 pm.) Strange how the mind works.

E loves Jellybean so much and has been great with her. It's a big help to have another pair of hands and eyes during the day. She seems happier.

There is a happiness and joy back in our lives that is for sure. But there is always a sadness around the edges of our family. I don't think that will ever go away.

Juliet!

2009-06-18T17:13:00.003-04:00

roses and chocolate are nice, but will he take care of you postpartum?

2009-06-10T22:58:00.005-04:00

I have no words to express just how awesome my husband is! I wish all my friends had a partner like this. Yes, I had the baby on Saturday evening. 7 lbs 2.3 oz baby girl. (I won't disclose her name here but you may email me for it.) Not only did he patiently wait all day for me to finally say 'ok, let's go to the hospital' but he willing stays the night in the hospital on weird fold out bed-chairs and let me keep the room at 68 degrees while he froze. When the house cleaner failed to show on Monday when we were to come home, J came in and cleaned the bathrooms and vacuumed. He's bought items at the pharmacy no man should have to ask for. He's driving me and E everywhere we need to go (Take me to my lactation appointment!) He's sanitized all the light switches and door knobs. Gets up at 5 am when I say I have to lie down. Prepares a bottle as easy as opening a beer. Reminds me to take my motrin. Fills and cleans my water bottle without being asked. And he can swaddle a baby like Chipotle barbacoa.

Ok, I'll stop now. And I apologize for any lack of noun/verb agreement because I am feeling the effects of a pain killer right now. woohoo!

I will end by telling you a secret about the man who is known for not smiling. When he met her on Saturday, there was a really big grin.

the silence

2009-06-03T22:59:00.003-04:00

He was five years old. He was there for a birthday party. His name was Trey. That's what his aunt or someone yelled while someone else tried to get him to take a breath on his own.

Two minutes before an older boy had pulled him from the bottom of the pool. He was right in front of us. How did no one see? So many people from the neighborhood. I had never seen so many people there in the three years we've lived here.

He silently slid under the water while we played and talked and listened to music. How did no one see? He was running around with the other kids shooting squirt guns. Did he have floatie on earlier? No one can recall. Who was he with? Extended family. Does it matter? Shouldn't we all have seen? He was right in front of us. He was right in front of me. It's not a big pool. We all should have seen something, noticed something before it was too late, right?

No, just the deafening silence of children not splashing, the music off, no one talking. Only the silent collective prayer of "Breathe, Trey, Breathe."

Happy Birthday Jacob!

2009-05-31T13:13:00.005-04:00

McKenna Farms had their family festival a couple of weeks ago and it was a bust because of the rainy weather. But this wonderful picture was taken of my belly and E.

I want to thank two families who came out to support Jacob's memory and the farm despite the bad weather - The McGraths & The James. You guys are troopers!

And Happy Birthday to my baby Jacob. He turned 5 on May 21st. We sent some balloons up to the sky for his party. Love you bubby boy.

LOST or "for such a time as this"

2009-05-18T00:20:00.002-04:00

I know I've been away for a while. Not from a lack of thoughts, mind you. Just maybe the inability to make sense of them all.

A couple of things have come together to get me wondering about this -- can we change our future? Obviously, for those of us who watch "Lost" this is a main point of contention in the series. But it's something I've often thought about. I've learned about Calvanism and even wrote a paper against it when I studied in Wales. I don't like the idea of pre-destination and I loathe the phrase "God has a plan." People say it to someone who is going through a tragedy as if it's supposed to make you feel better. I will tell you in response, "He could have told me or taught me the lesson in a different way."

I have had a bit of evolvement in my thinking of the question, though. What if we choose how we get there but the destination is the same? (enlightenment/knowing and accepting God's love for us)

I often find myself saying to E, if you had just listened to me the first time, you wouldn't have had to go through all this trouble. As a parent, I have had to learn the art of guiding as E has gotten older. You can only tell your children what to do for so long. If they never learn to choose the right thing on their own, we haven't really done our job, have we? My father was really good at the guiding thing when I was a teen - he gave me his trust to make the right choice and I made sure not to abuse it (or at least not push it too far.) When I was told what to do, I often directly defied it or harboured resentment of being made to do it.

I guess that's kinda how we are with God sometimes. How many times must He say, "If you had just listened to me the first time..." But he gives us the choice. That's where, I think, it gets really interesting because He doesn't just leave you alone. He continues to guide us. You may vear from the path, hit dead ends and get tangled in the bushes, but He is still trying to steer you the right way. You are still going to learn this lesson or gain the knowledge He wants to give you but I think you end up having a harder road than if you had listened from the outset.

Moses was the topic of the sermon today. I heard a different dimension of this great leader than I recall hearing before. When God told him to go be the leader of the Israelites, Moses said, "no." Can you beleieve that! So God said he was sending Aaron, Moses' brother, to help him. But as Pastor Pete explained (and I'm taking his word for it) Aaron ends up messing things up a few times and making things harder for Moses. So it's that "If you had just listened to me the first time..." lesson.

There is a less obvious example that we studied last week in my church community group, but it is actually what got me thinking about this in the first place. A beautiful lady named Esther is in a position of power, queen of Persia, to possibly save the Jews from annihilation. Now, it's no guarantee that she won't just be beheaded and the destruction will still go on as planned. So she tries to get out of it but her father (technically her uncle who raised her) says, if you don't do this, God will provide another way but what if God put you in this position "for such a time as this." Esther 4:14

Aha! There's my go-to example of the Bible saying you don't have to choose to do what I ask, but it will be done. And if we had just listened in the first place, maybe we wouldn't have to go through all these other troubles and tribulations.

So back to "Lost" (and I haven't watched the season finale so DON'T TELL ME)...Can Daniel Faraday change the outcome? Or was it all supposed to happen like this - Sayid shoots Ben only to have Sawyer & Kate save him...Faraday comes back to the island to set off the nuclear bomb only to be killed by his mom...or is it just an alternate reality with the outcome being the same? And if they had all just listened to the island in the first place, would they have had to go through all the heartache, death & destruction that the time travel and three years apart caused?

Wow, if you don't watch the show, I probably sound like a crazy person right now.

I can't take a compliment

2009-04-27T17:47:00.002-04:00

We pull into the garage.
"Mom, did you go to college?"
uh oh. I'm in for one of those old comments...or a why don't you have a job questions...I scramble for an answer but remember this is an eight year-old with no hidden agenda, hopefully. So I answer plainly.
"Yeees, why?" *cringe as I wait for the response*
"Cause you look like a college student now!"
whew! What a nice thing to say.

but wait, is she saying I dress too young for my age?

check-up

2009-04-21T08:43:00.002-04:00

Had a check up yesterday. I am 33 weeks and 3 days. The baby is 4 lbs, 11 oz. Right on schedule. Didn't get a good picture because the arms and hands were all scrunched up by its face. The heart is great with good blood flow and pressures. Easy sailing from here, right?

F is for family

2009-04-12T23:41:00.006-04:00

At 8 pm tonight, E plopped herself on the couch and announced, "This was the worst Easter ever."

"Why?" I asked. Yes, I had taken a 4 hour nap, which even for me is long, but I am 7 months pregnant. But we had gone with her friends to an Easter Egg hunt yesterday and then had 2 hunts in the house today, and the Easter bunny gave her a great basket (if I do say so myself) and we had gone to church, and she had a new dress, and her hair was sponge-curled like she likes it, and, and, and...What was she missing?

She didn't explain it well but there was something about not getting to see her cousins. She had asked this past week where we were going or who was coming to our house for Easter. I explained we weren't going anywhere and no one was coming here. (My parents had just visited two weeks ago and J's parents are coming next weekend.) Basically, I didn't feel like traveling! I know she doesn't feel the stress of packing, getting a dog sitter, taking time off work, being on other people's schedules...And I guess I'm glad she doesn't. But I just wanted to take some time to be just us. I wanted to dye Easter eggs with her. I wanted to stay up and watch a movie on Saturday night with just the three of us. And she still got to play with friends on Saturday and Sunday. I just wanted to be flexible and for J and I not to be stressed.

Instead, I failed. She wanted the family and the chaos. To her, Easter meant seeing the cousins and aunts and uncles even if it's cold and rainy every Easter I can recall in Ohio. And I guess, it probably is to me, too. I kinda missed my old church which never fails to have an abundance of Easter lillies, no matter how small the congregation is. And singing, "Christ the Lord has Risen Today," in the terribly off-tune way of the choir. My mom does the Easter baskets and goes way over the top. (It's like a small Christmas for the kids.) And she does the egg hunt which E gets to do with her cousins, even though she has to wait until the afternoon because they go to a different church. And that's all just my side of the family. There's the other fun task of making enough time for both sides of the family in a two-day weekend.

So I guess I was selfish and thought I would be a better mom by staying home and not being stressed out. Maybe I shouldn't take her comment so personally, but let's face facts and admit that holiday happiness is a responsibility of the mom. And it seems I failed this Easter.

the corporate ladder

2009-04-09T20:40:00.004-04:00

E: Daddy, have you ever been promoted?
J: Yes
E: From what to what?
J: From manager to senior manager.
E: Wow, you were a manager? Of what?
J: Well, I used to have people but I don't have people anymore.
E: Are you lonely?
J: No.

2009-04-09T09:48:00.002-04:00

Ok, I know I haven't written in a long time. I have plenty of thoughts but I stop myself from writing them down because

a) I don't want to delve deeper and discover what I really think,
b) I might offend others,
c) it's too trivial to even discuss,
d) I don't want to just complain or bring people down,
c) I should really be doing dishes/laundry/picking up, etc.

Oh, I hesitate for lots of reasons. I could give daily in utero baby updates. (Everything is going well, but lately every stranger seems to think it's a boy. And you know why I don't talk about it? I don't want to jinx myself!) Ok, I'll go ahead and explain. When I was pregnant with Jacob, I had a long discussion with my friend in NC and went on and on about how easy pregnancy is for me and how normal everything is for the baby and how I have no high-risk factors, etc, etc, etc. The very next day, I found out about his heart defect. Like God gave me the smack-down. So now, I have even avoided talking to her this whole pregnancy even though she was also pregnant, too. What an awful friend! And I think Josh has a little bit of this supersition, too, because he goes with me to every appointment, which he didn't do with Jacob until we found out his heart problem.

I could discuss E's adventures and moods (like she wants her own blog, and cell phone, and tv in her room.) She's also having trouble sleeping through the night. This has actually gotten better in the past two weeks, but it has been happening on and off for months. She can't wait for the new baby but I worry about her emotional health. Being at a place like Disney brings this home because she doesn't have a built-in buddy. How much would that trip have been different with her brother who would be almost 5! She just gets bored with us. And even havign another child right now won't help that because there will be an 8 1/2 year gap!

I could use this as my own grief therapy but I'm afraid of being too exposed, and my thoughts are very rambling, and if I become too sad in the middle of the day, then it's hard to get on with anything else. And I just don't want to bring others down.

And now, look how much I've written and I'm going to be late for E's Arts Day!

As Tigger says, "TaTa for now!"

Random Ramblings

2009-03-19T08:41:00.001-04:00

Updates

2009-03-17T10:00:00.001-04:00

I will share all about our family's trip to Disney very soon. The preparing for and aftermath of a vacation is hard, so make sure the vacation is worth it! This one definitely was and we all had a great time.

sigh

2009-02-23T08:43:00.002-05:00

In my first 20 minutes of this day:
bloody nose
E can't find her brush...again
E can't find her shoes
the power goes out
we're late leaving for school
i hit something backing out of the garage
have to stop for a school bus
terribly slow person in front of me on one lane windy road
have to stop for a firetruck because a tree has fallen on a power line...might explain the power outage
still not to school yet
woohoo, carpool line is totally backed up so I don't have to show my un-make-up face, unbrushed hair and ratty clothes after all
get home in one piece and don't think that E's scooter is damaged
power is on but all clocks are flashing...deal with that later
heat up oatmeal, put on kettle for tea, start up computer, maybe I'll get my groove back
internet is malfunctioning.
*sigh*

2009-02-11T18:21:00.003-05:00

My funny kid...

Making Time for Friends

2009-02-09T10:30:00.003-05:00

Tell Me About It by Carolyn Hax

Washington Post | Published: 06.05.2007
I'm not sure why this is just getting around, but I've recently come across two mentions of it and had to see it for myself -- and then add my two cents.

First, my disclaimer: Lack of time really isn't much of a problem for me right now. I'd do anything to have the craziness of two kids in the house - wait, further disclaimer - my own kids :)

Now, my two cents: It's lack of brain function. All the things listed in this article are correct but for me, it's the thinking, or lack of thinking. My train of thought is always interrupted. I never get anything done completely. I see projects all over the house but don't dare start on them because I will never finish. So I may want to talk to a friend, or grab lunch, or send an email, but it's always at the expense of child. And I feel guilty. If I talk to a neighbor in the yard, then someone falls off the brick stoop and gashes his forehead. If I'm on the phone then I haphazardly say yes, you may have 5 packs of fruit snacks and all the cookies left in the box. If I reserve naptime for just these personal items (assuming I took a shower already and got myself some lunch earlier) then the kitchen doesn't get cleaned up and I'm further behind when I start dinner.

But most of all, I'm actually trying to be considerate of your time. If I know I cannot devote my attention to you, my friend, then I won't call, email or make lunch plans. I don't want to waste your time. Personally, I hate when people call me and then end up yelling, I mean, talking to their kids more than me. And if I can't sit down and calmly devote a few minutes to a thoughtful email to ask how you are and what's the latest on ____, then I won't. And if I will only be thinking about when I have to feed the baby next, or struggle to entertain a toddler during a nice lunch, then I won't make the arrangements. It doesn't mean I've forgotten you. I actually do care and am trying to be considerate.

It took me a while to learn to schedule an evening out with my non-parent friends and not feel too bad about it. But those friends are also good enough friends to understand my parenting life. I also don't just talk about kids when I am with them. I have other interests and hanging with those friends are just what I need to feel renewed and remind me I'm not just a mom but a whole person. Of course, it's hard to balance it all! But it is a good reminder to make time for all our friends, even if it's a phone call once a year.

25,000 Diapers

2009-02-06T11:23:00.003-05:00

I have been made aware that a generous lady from my hometown church, Christ United Methodist Church, has started a program to collect or raise enough money for 25,000 diapers for needy women with babies. (Food stamps and such does not cover the cost of diapers.)

Here's her story: Diaper Drive
and here's a local news story about it: Fox 45

Jacob's Fund, through The Red Thread, will be donating $100. If you know how a local business could sponsor or if you would like to contribute on your own, please see her blog.

2009-01-29T10:42:00.004-05:00

Just a couple of quick photos of E this week. It's been eventful. First is 'beauty queen' with her hair in sponge rollers and her eye mask. (Why does she want the night light still?)

And this is right after getting a baby tooth pulled that wouldn't come out on its own after 6 months.

She was also sick Monday night into Tuesday with a fever and soar throat. And then she is the narrator for her class chapel program on Friday. It's hard for me to keep on top of it all!

A bit of forgiveness

2009-01-25T23:35:00.005-05:00

1.22.2009

Dear Mother,

You're perfect.
It's not that you don't have faults, you do. You should know that, since you seem a bit focused on those faults.
But you're absolutely the perfect fit for your children.
You have flaws of course, but they're all covered up with the goodness of you--your intentions, and the depth that is in you, pounding to the beat of your children's hearts.
In the middle of the daily grind, it's hard to catch your breath. The fatigue catches up with you at times, pulling you away from the person you've been striving to become. But your kids? They'll forgive it all in a moment, when you take the time to apologize and start again. Their love is unconditional.
Isn't it amazing how we're given children to teach us exactly what that love looks like?
It's a relief to know it goes both ways. We mothers would forgive a million mistakes our children make. It seems we should learn to forgive ourselves for our own.

You never dreamed you could feel such a range of emotions in just one day. But here you are, completely crazy in love with your kids, while wanting to run away screaming in the midst of tantrums, stubborn arguments, and messes. The clash of such opposite emotions is so confusing. Then comes the guilt, the kind you can't escape no matter how hard you try, leaving you to feel you've failed to do any of the things you intended to do well. Try to fight that guilt. Stop yourself when you hear the negative voices. The good things you're doing are there, a thousand actions big and small. They are your unique ways of showing your love. Look at them. Think on them.

Don't forget that all the stages pass in a moment, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. You'll hardly be able to remember that piercing cry, the toddler time outs, the rat race and the chaos. That will all fly away like a feather on a breeze, catching up with the newborn baby smell and the pudgy little fingers.

So hang in there. You're doing a beautiful job, whether you know it in every moment or not.
You're a mother. You don't have to be the kind of perfect Mother you try so hard to be. You're already just the right Mom, just as you are.
Even when you make those mistakes you so despise, please remember, your children need you to believe in your goodness, so they can one day believe in their own.

You Rock,
Heather

Posted by Heather of the EO at 4:00 AM

Labels: mama musings

So what happens when you only have 3 years with your child? When I raise my voice or lose my temper with E, I can reason that she probably won't remember it or it won't be significant in her 18 years living with me. But 3 years? It is much harder to forgive myself. And I was so stressed in those few weeks leading up to Jacob's surgery. I didn't realize it at first, but I was wound very tight. One day I stumbled over his cars which made me shove them across the room. He came to the landing over the living room and said, "Mommy crying?" And then there was the day I kicked the frozen vegetables across the kitchen floor when I just couldn't get dinner ready for all the interruptions. And then there is the terrible day that he wouldn't sit at the table and just wanted to watch Blues Clues upstairs and I just said, "Fine!" and took him hastily up the stairs and plopped him on the bed. He looked at me and said, "Don't scare me mommy." I hugged him and apologized profusely but I couldn't take back my actions or my words. The damage was done. His own mommy scared him. The one who is supposed to protect him and keep him from harm and away from scary people. I was the scary one.

Then, of course, came the surgery and the infection. I couldn't make it better like a skinned knee. I had to say that the scary people who came to poke and prod you were actually good people trying to help, but I didn't even believe it after a while. Your parents, who are supposed to protect you and care for you from all that is bad in the world, couldn't do it. I failed.

I'm going to have to write a part 2 to this because I guess I have more to explore on this topic ...like the fact that I subconsciously changed persons in that last paragraph. (Instead to talking about Jacob, I moved to talking to him.) But now, I just need to get some sleep.

20 weeks

2009-01-22T19:07:00.005-05:00

Looks like a real baby now! And, no, we are not finding out whether it is a boy or a girl for now.

And here is the foot!

Will I ever work again?

2009-01-15T09:20:00.007-05:00

"...let’s stop with this talk of inexperience when we mean a range of experiences, many shaped by motherhood. The only way work will become more flexible for everyone, for all of us, is if the untraditional begins to count." (NYT magazine, Dec 31, 2008, The Motherlode Blog)

What IS the correct way to cite a blog anyway? It's not in the grammar books I grew up with!

Reading this article hit the mark for me. It's something I struggle with every time I think of my future. Other recent happenings have also got me thinking of my future plans. No one is safe at Home Depot expecting to layoff 1000 employees from HQ. E just asked me last night why I don't work. (Does she even remember the first four years of her life when I worked at the Ohio Statehouse?!) And we just visited Columbus for the first time in a year and a half over New Years when a saw some old work friends -- all of whom have moved on to bigger and better jobs.

Yes, I still have plenty of contacts - back there. And it's been 3 and a half years. Almost four - April 1st was my last day in the state Senate. It wasn't glamorous and we didn't get paid enough but I liked it. How many people say that about their jobs? I know leaving to take care of Jacob was the right thing to do. And I have come to really like Atlanta and have made some truly wonderful friends. And I'm sure I can find a niche for myself but I do worry about the resume gap. I've often wondered about putting my domestic responsibilities into resume "words."

April 2, 2005 - October 15, 2006 Real Estate Advisor & Stager
- Prepared 2 single-family homes for sale which both sold within 4 days of listing
- Coordinated 3 moves of a four member family and unpacked every box twice, accomplishing the complete set-up of 2 homes

May 2005 - July 2007 Human Resources Manager & Scheduler
- Researched state programs and private insurance to receive the maximum benefits of therapy for children under 3 years old
- Created new system for tracking medical claims, service dates, and payments
- Coordinated transportation and scheduling for 2 children, one of which had at least 6 therapies a week across two counties

I have also served as the Benefits Coordinator for this family for 10 years and the Financial Manager for 4 years.

This, of course, does not even begin to describe the real parenting aspects of the last 4 years. There is 1) understanding how to discipline your special-needs child (everything your child does is wonderful after they weren't able to do the simpliest of things before -- yeah! you climbed on the table! of course you can eat all your meals in front of the tv because you can say 'blues clues' now!) 2) How to handle a 7 year old girl without transferring all your childhood issues onto her (there aren't books on this.) 3) Coping with grief - for yourself and a child's - while maintaining your relationship with your spouse who is also grieving.

I could go on...moms have to be flexible, constantly learn new technology, do crafts she has no interest in, bake stuff at 10 pm because you promised, wake up in 1 second flat, learn grade school all over again, be at the school at least 3 times a week or so it seems, etc. Basically, be able to handle anything, and I mean anything, that comes our way. There is no letting something fall through the cracks.

So maybe I shouldn't be so intimidated by this gap in my resume. Just hope I can convince an employer of that.

IT'S GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME

2009-01-12T17:28:00.002-05:00

E is selling Girl Scout Cookies all this month. If you would like some, just email me. AND IF YOU DON'T WANT THE TEMPTATION OF COOKIES IN YOUR HOUSE, you can donate your boxes to the military serving oversees. THANKS!

Lemon Chalet Cremes
vanilla cookie with lemon creme icing
Trefoils
classic shortbread
Do-Si-Dos
cookie with creamy peanut butter filling
Samoas
caramel, coconut with chocolate stripes
Dulce De Leche *NEW*
milk caramel chips and stripes
Sugar Free Chocolate Chip
a classic without the sugar
Tagalongs
peanut butter dipped in chocolate
Thin Mints
need I say more?

new family member

2008-12-11T14:10:00.003-05:00

I am a little behind in events from November. This is our newest member of the family, Fuzzy! E has wanted one for over a year. Yes, it is a hamster, but a dwarf hamster. Cute, eh? He mostly sleeps during the day in his ball. About midnight he starts running in it. Luckily, we knew this ahead of time and got a ball that doesn't make much noise.

God's love for Us

2008-12-04T15:26:00.003-05:00

Driving in the car today, the song "Beautiful Day" by U2 comes on the radio. This is ironic of course because it is actually cold and miserable here. But I like to be reminded that even when the weather is bad (which often affects my mood) it's still a beautiful day to be alive and thankful for what we have. But my mind drifted to Jacob and the fact he is not here and it is so easy for me to be sad about that. And I've been realizing lately that I hold a grudge against God for letting Jacob die. A grudge, just like in any relationship, gets in the way a lot. I have trouble praying and such. Needless to say, I hold some resentment. My mind continues on this track and I think about what it will be like to see him again and how happy I will be. But I know that my resentment is not good and will probably keep me from being in heaven and how it would feel to lose Jacob all over again. That would be my hell. Then I think, well, I live a little bit of that everyday anyway. Then my mind reversed that, and I began to see it from *maybe* God's perspective. He must feel that way every day when someone rejects him or turns away from the life God wants him or her to live. He is heartbroken, just as I am. I can't even fathom losing someone you love day after day. I can barely live with just this one.

Ping

2008-12-03T22:41:00.002-05:00

Here is the latest update on Ping, the baby boy in China who needed heart surgery...

We did receive an email about Ping dated 11/28. It says that Ping is still struggling and they were taking him to the local hospital again. They are concerned that he is not gaining weight and he is still having a lot of coughing. My director was watching emails over the holiday and immediately offered to have him moved to the hospital in Hangzhou or Shanghai. We haven't heard back from them on what they want to do. I spoke with Karen and she is going to email them again tomorrow.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Making a statement...

2008-12-01T16:06:00.003-05:00

I LOVE THIS! It's an inflatable Dreidel in my 'hood. Does Home Depot sell these?

shameless use of my blog

2008-11-25T09:45:00.000-05:00

I have a credit at Linens N Things for $73.81. I've been through the store and there isn't anything I really need. (Weird, huh?) Since they are going out of business, I don't want to waste this money. Would anyone like to buy this from me?

PAYBACK

2008-11-20T16:03:00.003-05:00

Just had this conversation with E when an old Scooby Doo came on Boomerang Channel...
Me: I've seen this one!
E: Back in your days?
Me: Yes, my days.
E: Was is on ABC family?
Me: No, it was probably on regular ABC. There was only one ABC back then.
Me: *sigh*

Family pictures

2008-11-19T16:50:00.002-05:00

Now, that I have officially told most people that I am pregnant, I can finally say that for the month of October I felt crappy all the time. It really whammied me and I haven't gotten around to doing much. But I didn't spend much money either because I never felt like going out. I'm feeling better now (as long as I eat every 2 hours) and have a lot of shopping to catch up on! More about that later.

The cool thing I wanted to share is that we got our pictures professionally taken last week by a wonderful woman, Elizabeth Smith, of EBS photography. Last week was also E's birthday. I used to get an annual picture taken of her around her birthday but after Jacob was born, I guess I stopped. We never got a professional picture taken of the family while Jacob was alive and I highly regret that. So, I am making amends now. I explained our unique situation and that I wanted to incorporate Jacob somehow. She was very understanding and accommodating. (Please see her website for the special work she does for the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization.) Elizabeth did a wonderful job. Please check out our pictures!

tv appearance tonight!...maybe

2008-11-14T18:23:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is the house I was definitely interviewed about. I could still end up on the cutting room floor.

________________________________________________________________________________

It’s that time again to set your TIVO or maybe have a Friday night Design To Sell party with your family, friends & neighbors!

Friday November 14^th at 8pm est on HGTV will be my friend, neighbor and client’s home Mary and Tal Lefler.

Mary and Tal have decided to start a new, calmer life in Nashville TN. The team at DTS came in and worked their magic. I’m so excited to see this episode because they are such fun, dear people and the designers did a fantastic job on the renovations.

However, even as wonderful as the renovations were the house is still on the market. Click on this link ( Buyer Full Page )to get a sneak peak at the house and tune in tomorrow night.

As always, I love your feedback on these show and your referrals so keep them coming! Who knows, maybe you know someone who would like to actually buy this house and be our neighbor. I can promise many, many awesome pool parties in the summer at our house and the best neighbors (not just our family) in all of Atlanta!

Have a great weekend,

Collette McDonald

Lima Beans

2008-11-10T09:06:00.008-05:00

Ok, after the craziness of last week, I can finally announce that I am pregnant! Nine weeks in this photo from last Monday.

It's taken me a lot to get to this point. And part of me thinks it's only been 15 months since Jacob died. Doesn't sound like a long time but it feels like forever since I've held him. I had to convince my heart we weren't replacing him, that he will always be part of our family and this will be his baby brother or sister. He was always really good with little babies and seemed very interested in them.

And Elyse is so excited. She calls it a lima bean...from I Love to Read Week. I had to tell her back then because I felt so sick all the time, I thought she needed an explanation. I then went on to tell her 'it' was only about the size of a lima bean.

Election

2008-11-06T09:47:00.002-05:00

I have a lot to say about the election but it would take me way too long to write it all down. So, I'm taking the liberty of borrowing another blog that I think sums things up nicely.

November 5, 2008, 9:00 pm

This American Moment — The Surprises

By Timothy Egan

Guess who won Joe the Plumber’s vote. Not Joe the symbol and unlicensed tax-dodger coming soon to a garage sale near you, but real people who make about $42,000 a year, the median income for plumbers and pipefitters.

Barack Obama carried hard-working Americans of that income stripe by 10 points, according to exit polls.

And the only voters who were told directly that their taxes would go up under a new Democratic president? Obama took the rich as well, winning by six points that small sliver of the electorate that makes more than $200,000 year. Soak ’em.

As for the Bradley effect, there was none. Perhaps a Reverse Bradley – in which more people actually voted for the black guy than they told pollsters.

Witness Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan, three prime states where working-class whites were supposed to be saving their true racial feelings for the privacy of the voting booth. Obama won Michigan by 16 points, Pennsylvania by 11 and Ohio by four. In each case, the vote was well above the election eve average of all polls. Hillary Clinton voters came home. Ditto Reagan Democrats. Did I mention that Obama won the Catholic vote — and Scranton, the iconic blue-collar town?

Overall, the pollsters mostly got it right — and a tip of the hat to Scott Rasmussen for nailing the popular vote, 52 percent to 46, and to my friend Johnny Verhovek, age 15, for predicting the exact number of electoral votes in my local betting pool.

In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice on the question of what to do when your dreams come true: don’t tell anyone.

Conversely, what do we do when our darkest fears, our hardened conventional wisdom and our historic homilies are all found to be hooey? Shout it from the rooftops.

This was a transformative election, but not because there was some big lurch to the left or an unequivocal rejection of the right. The culture is confused, as always. Gay marriage lost in liberal California, in Florida and Arizona. But abortion restrictions were voted down in conservative South Dakota. And 73 percent of voters in Colorado disagreed with a longheld Republican contention that human life begins at conception.

This was the first real 21st century election — rejecting the incompetence of the Bush years, the race-baiting of Karl Rove’s majority strategy and the poison of media-driven wedge politics. As a nation, we rejoin the world community. As a sustaining narrative, we found our story again.

Obama’s ascendancy is likely to have the ironic effect of ending affirmative action, and the old identity politics. He became only the second Democrat since Franklin Roosevelt to win more than 51 percent of the popular vote not because he’s black, but because he is smarter, with better ideas, and showed leadership under fire. This was a victory for meritocracy.

If affirmative action survives, it will be more class-based, as Obama suggested on the campaign trail.

In losing the urban vote and the suburbs as well, the Republican party is now a shrinking regional party of older white males, represented in the media by talk-radio kooks and far-right women dressed in high couture to sell low-culture friction.

Obama won the New South of Virginia, Florida and perhaps North Carolina. He flipped three states in the New West, Colorado, Nevada and New Mexico. He won the fastest-growing ethnic group, Latinos, by better than a 2-1 margin. As for the young, nobody since modern polling of age groups began has racked up a better percentage of the 18- to 29-year-old vote. Obama won 66 percent of the kids.

And sure, the youth vote is only 18 percent of the total electorate, but that’s still a bigger slice than those over 65 years of age (one of the few McCain cohorts).

See the trend: new, emerging, growing, tomorrow, young. Dormant for the darkest years of the Bush presidency, the oldest strain of American DNA is evident again.

For Republicans, the trouble is deep and spreading. They nearly lost Montana, Missouri and the most populous county in Idaho, a state where a Democrat was just elected to Congress. When this kind of thing happens in Idaho, it’s time to start reading up on the Whig party for history lessons.

Even Texas tightened from four years ago. But do 23 percent of Texans really think Obama is a Muslim, as a recent poll found? If reality indeed has no home on the Texas plains, it’s the perfect place for Bush to retire.

One of the better lines in Obama’s election night speech was a slap to the rejectionist politics of Bush. Rove always insisted a president only needed 50 percent plus one to win. And Bush governed that way, permanently angering half the population.

On Tuesday night, Obama reached out to the other half. For those who did not vote for him, he said, “I will be your president, too.”

What an idea — simple and obvious. But like so much American common sense, it’s been missing for too long.

Baby Ping needs your prayers

2008-11-03T08:57:00.002-05:00

I've been sick and my brain has been in a fog. Sorry for the lack of posts.

Right now, I want to update you on Ping. Here is information from The Red Thread:

I wanted to let you know that we have received some sad news regarding Ping. We have learned that he is very sick and is in the hospital. The information is a bit sketchy, and we are not entirely sure if his illness is related to his heart, or if he has contracted some kind of secondary infection. We have offered to do anything we can to help, including transferring him to another hospital if the doctors feel that would be beneficial.

This came from Anne of Love Without Boundaries, whom The Red Thread Promise partnered with to have Ping's surgery done.

Kathy adds: Please keep Ping in your thoughts and prayers, as it is our understanding that his condition is considered very serious. I will update you again as soon as I receive any more information.

Jennifer (she's in Chicago and is the only paid staff for TRTP - part time) is following up on a regular basis. She has inquired about bringing our little Ping to the US for medical care. If those in China will agree to it we will make the arrangements immediately and raise the funds.

Picture Update

2008-10-24T11:10:00.009-04:00

I have lots to update! For more pictures, you can go to our photobucket site. If you don't already know the site, you'll have to email me.

E got an award in today's 1st Quarter Awards Chapel - Inspiration!

Here's us at Uncle Shucks last week when she had a day off.

And here is the I Love To Read Week float and kids. The book is A Bad Case of Stripes. I didn't even take pictures of the other floats that way out-did me. I went over my $25 budget on just this! (It was actually the colored duct tape on the shirts that did it.) Check out my hand-sewn lima beans.
That's good for now. I'll post some from the McKenna Farms work day and from our nature walk yesterday later this weekend. I better get something constructive done around this house!

warning politics

2008-10-15T16:31:00.003-04:00

All day I have resisted venting about the presidential campaign in this forum. A lot of my friends, particularly in Georgia, are supporters of McCain. I completely respect that decision and don't want to alienate anyone. I struggle with this because I also feel I should be free to express my opinion in my own blog and shouldn't be afraid offending anyone. And, if I am truly respectful and keep to the issues, I hope that no one will be personally offended.

Having said that, I also wanted to write on Sunday how wonderful it is that so many of us disagree on presidential politics and yet can worship together. When it comes down to it, we are very similar and need each other to get through this life. I don't know why politics are so devisive -- I guess because we take what is our opinion and say it's the "right" way.

Something with religion and politics has gotten skewed in the last 20-30 years. I was told by a student leader of my Bible study in my freshman year of college (a private United Methodist-based college) that I couldn't be a Christian and a Democrat. I'm a Democrat because I'm a Christian. Not to mention, are our memories so short as to forget Jimmy Carter, Mr. Southern Baptist?

Anyway, I said all this because what I really want to point out is how John McCain seems a little afraid of his own crowds. Guess his fear-mongering has turned on him. See The Daily Show's 10,000 McCainiacs. While I do really think we should focus on policies, it is interesting to see how a person deals with difficult situations, like being down in the presidential election poles. Maybe you shouldn't hire the same people who made the 'fathered a black baby' commercials that made you lose the SC primaries. Be careful what you ask for, John. Looks like you're getting it.

Happy Anniversary

2008-10-12T22:15:00.004-04:00

Happy Anniversary to me...Happy Anniversary to me...I got an Iphone...I got an Iphone.

I have a 770 number now, so email me or call me on my old number to get the updated one. I haven't figured it all out yet so don't call me on it right away!

Just had a power outage for over an hour. Missed Desperate Housewives!!! So we got out lots of candles and lit the pumpkins, played UNO and roasted marshmallows. Nice quiet, windy evening.

Good times at the Fall Festival at Vinings Lake today. Pete and Brian got dunked in the dunking booth (Elyse hit the target but the trigger didn't work.) She also won a bagful of prizes at all the games. Lots more stuffed animals, cause we were running out.

Hopefully, we'll get to a pumpkin patch tomorrow and I'll get pictures.

Now, to quote Harold and the Purple Crown, (I've been told Jacob looked like Harold so I have a fondness for these stories.) "He crawled into his cozy bed. His purple crown dropped to the floor, and Harold dropped off to sleep."

Long Weekend

2008-10-10T11:17:00.002-04:00

E is off from school today and Monday. So far we slept in and have bummed around. It's kinda dreary here today so maybe we'll hit Beverly Hills Chihauhua this afternoon. Tomorrow is a soccer game and then Josh and I are off to dinner for our anniversary at Fogo de Chao. Sunday, there is a recognition service for the Upward soccer players at Westside Baptist and the Vinings Lake is having a fall festival after the 11 am service. Monday, I would like to go to a pumpkin patch. I also have to make sure between all those events that I put together E's class float for "I Love to Read Week." All fun stuff; just have to manage my time carefully. In short, I'm looking forward to this weekend!

Go Mom

2008-10-09T10:08:00.003-04:00

Here is an article from the Huffington Post featuring MY MOM.

The New Organizers, Part 1: What's really behind Obama's ground game
by Zack Exley

..."In her job at a Middletown, Ohio, steel factory, Glenna Fisher managed the preparation and shipping of millions of pounds of steel per year until her retirement six years ago. But when she has volunteered for democratic campaigns in the past, no one ever asked her to do anything more complicated than calling voters with a script.

This year, the field organizer (FO) assigned to her town, Ryan Clay, had much bigger plans for her." Read on...

work day

2008-10-08T06:40:00.003-04:00

Josh and I are off to the Home Depot work day for Jacob's trail at McKenna Farms. (I had to wake up at 5:30 AM.) It was postponed from August because of rain. It hasn't rained since then but it is raining today! Wonderful...

Super Saturday

2008-10-04T22:13:00.004-04:00

Thunder tied! (1-1) That's the best we've ever done. In all fairness, if Upward kept score, this game would have to have an asterisk. The other team's goalie was not actually on the field at the time of play. We take what we can get. You can see Upward's pics of Elyse here or at our photobucket site.

I put up Halloween decorations today and Josh washed my car. He polished my wheels...no, literally. Someone will have to compliment me on my shiny wheels.

We're off to a wedding at noon tomorrow (yes that's a Sunday 12 noon wedding!). And even though it's not exactly in town it should be a nice time just based on its location, The Carl House.

homework answer

2008-10-03T11:27:00.002-04:00

I think this is funny: E is learning about predicting outcomes in class. (She also learned mean and mode this week. Seriously, this is second grade?) Her worksheet asks, "Can you always correctly predict the outcome of an event? Why?" Her answer, "No. You can't always be that smart."

So simple and yet so true.

Ping is out of the hospital

2008-10-03T10:16:00.000-04:00

Hello from The Red Thread Promise! We received an update on little Ping! He is doing very well. He is being discharged to a good foster family! The Red Thread Promise will receive updates and monitor the status of his health as much as we can.

Thank you, thank you for your thoughts, prayers and donations for baby Ping. Know that without your support this child would probably not be alive today. Please enjoy the picture attached. Jen

Jennifer Mesick
Children's Coordinator

The Red Thread

http://www.the-red-thread.org

The Red Thread is a 501(c)3 charitable organization

dedicated to providing orphans with medical care.

Click on http://www.goodsearch.com. Choose

The Red Thread for your charity!!

Photo - XuZhengPing - 10-2-08.jpg

for the moms

2008-10-02T13:02:00.003-04:00

So no tv appearance for me or Collette. I walked through that house but I was interviewed for another house. I'll keep you posted!

I've had lots of ideas for posting but no time to follow through. I think this is why I need an ipod now. :)

What I do want to bring your attention to is a get-together at Vinings Lake Church for moms of special needs kids. Hollie Hixson talks about it in her blog. I encourage you to pass this along to your friends.

And, now, politics...How do you think Palin is going to do tonight in the debate? While I hope anyone reading this knows I support Obama, I have to say I feel sorry for Palin. I think she has been so over-prepared, she can't answer the simplest of questions like what newspapers she reads. I don't like people saying she's dumb. I think she knows a lot about other issues that matter to mothers and that is not something to be looked-down upon. I know what it is like to be on both sides - in the middle of all the hot issues and nitty-gritty of legislating but also how none of it matters when your child is sick or even has a soccer game. It's not that foreign affairs and the economy aren't important, but when you are one person leading a family with limited time in a day, you prioritize. You do what you have to to get through the day. There are plenty of us moms who would like to tackle a lot more but we learn that we can't save the worlds' children and let ours be neglected. It's a balance we all struggle with and wish we were better at (at least I do.)

Having said all that in Palin's defense, she doesn't know enough about the national issues to be vice-president. Her knowledge-base might be fine for being mayor and even governor. Maybe later, she would be able to handle the position, but not now. I really thought John McCain was better than this.

tv appearance...maybe

2008-09-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Check out HGTV's Designed to Sell Wednesday, October 1, at 8 pm, for my friend and realtor Collette McDonald and maybe ME. I did the walk-through and interview with the producer after the rooms had been re-done. You never know if you are going to make the cut until it airs! It will still be neat to see some homes in Atlanta featured.

From Collette...

The hit HGTV show Design To Sell will be featuring another one of my fantastic listings in the Embry Hills section of Atlanta on October 1 at 8pm. Put a reminder in your address book today to remember to watch or set your DVR.

This home was done really well! They took a 3 bedroom ranch with an unfinished room in the basement and made it a four bedroom. They also made a dark den with a fireplace become the center stage of the home. The last space was the dining room...simply fabulous! The tips they show us on this episode are ones I now use in every one of my listings. Simple, easy and they make a real difference!

As you know, there are no guarantees that I will be on this show. Last time you were able to see my profile for a split second, which I was happy about and my family & friends, scattered throughout the country, thought was pretty funny too. Some of my friends Erin Dangar, Amanda Thrasher, Shannon Jaynes and Sarah Beachy may make an appearance, but none of us will know until the air date.

The seller and his brother are great guys; so no matter what it should prove to be an enjoyable 30 minutes of television. Who knows, you may learn something! If you love the house, you may even want to purchase it for yourself because it is still available.

update on Baby Ping

2008-09-29T10:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Ping Supporters:

Yesterday we received an update on little Ping that we wanted to share with all of you.

Ping is out of ICU and recovering well! The doctors think he will be discharged soon! I have attached a
current photo of him for you. What a precious baby!

Thank you so much for helping Ping!!

Wishing you all a blessed day,
Kathy

Kathy Korge Albergate
The Red Thread Promise

www.the-red-thread.org

love my kids

2008-09-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to say, "I have the most amazing kid in the whole world!" She has a kind heart and is fun to be around. She is an illustration of joy to me everyday. I love her.

P.S. Jacob is too.

Bear Scare

2008-09-25T21:11:00.000-04:00

It has been a tumultuous week for Bear (our dog) and me. Her 10th birthday was Monday. Other than grouchiness with other dogs, no one knows she's that old. She is very protective and never lets us leave her sight. Last Friday, I took her for a walk around the neighborhood lake and let her off her leash when I saw that no one else was out there. She went into some deep bushes and I guess I was so lost in thought, I did not realize she had not caught up with me until I came to the road. I called and whistled and she never came bounding out of the woods! I started to panic and ran around calling for 15 minutes. I finally decided to go back to my house to get some neighbors to help me and get the car. Lo and behold, she was waiting for me in the front yard! She is so smart! I don't know how she found the house from the other side of the neighborhood. GOOD DOG!

After that, I kept her with me for the rest of the day. She was my buddy while I set up camp for Elyse and Josh (that's getting its own post) and we spent the evening together watching a girlie movie (Waitress). That's when I noticed she was itching her ear a little more than usual. When I patted her and said goodnight, she flinched. Hmmm, do dogs get ear infections? Next day, the vet can't get her in to look at it. All weekend I could tell she just didn't feel well, just like a kid. So I take her to the doc Monday morning and yes, it's an ear infection...yeast actually. Eww. Got some drops and we were good to go. Next two days, she seems to not be able to hear us at all. I leave for one hour on Wednesday morning and she's in the exact same spot in our bedroom as when I left. (She ALWAYS greets us at the door.) As I walk in the room, she doesn't even open her eyes. This leads me to only one conclusion but just as I reach out to touch her, she opens her eyes and wags her tail. *Exhale*

I call the vet back. Just like a pediatrician's office, I don't get the doc that saw her on Monday, I get another one in the practice who hasn't seen her. I describe what just took place, explain this is HIGHLY unusual behavior and say I am really worried about her. She's never been sick in ten years. I don't know how to handle this. The vet says she wants to bring her in the next day to sedate her and clean out her ears and check to make sure the eardrum is ok. I do as told but Bear is so scared of the vet or being boarded, it's almost as bad as leaving a child at daycare. To make this long story short, they conclude that she's the one in ten thousand dogs who have an allergic reaction to the medicine. $400 later, we are hoping she will be back to normal tomorrow. She already seems to be hearing better. *sigh*

Don't Wait Until Nov 4 to VOTE

2008-09-19T10:05:00.000-04:00

Early Voting (also called absentee or advance voting) for the presidential election begins in Cobb County on Friday, September 19, 2008, and continues through Friday, October 31, 2008. The location is the Main office of the Board of Elections, 736 Whitlock Ave., Marietta, 30064. Hours of operation are 8am until 5pm. NO REASON IS NEEDED but you do need to have ID.

There will be Satellite locations open Monday, October 27 – Friday, October 31. Any Cobb County registered voter can vote on these days at any of the following locations:

Cobb Elections Main Office
West Park Government Center,
736 Whitlock Ave., Marietta 30064
Monday - Friday, 8am to 5:00pm

East Cobb Government Service Center
4400 Lower Roswell Rd., Marietta, 30068-4233
Monday - Friday, 8am to 6:00pm

South Cobb Government Service Center
4700 Austell Road, Austell, 30106-2004
Monday – Friday 8am to 6:00pm

Parks Western District Office
Lost Mountain Park, Dallas Highway, Powder Springs 30127
Monday - Friday, 8am to 6:00pm

North Cobb Senior Center (at Kennworth Park)
4100 Highway 293 (Old 41), Acworth 30101
Monday – Friday 8am to 6:00pm

Galleria Mall—Coming in October

Lines are still likely, so please come prepared!

If you cannot vote in person, you may apply for a vote-by-mail ballot at http://www.cobbelections.org/votebymail.asp.

*PLEASE NOTE*
There is NO VOTING ON MONDAY, November 3.

For more complete information on registering to vote, check your polling location, etc, please visit www.cobbelections.org.

Births and Deaths

2008-09-17T12:09:00.000-04:00

Strange week. I mentioned to someone on Monday it felt like disaster week. Hurricanes, economy, power outages, run on gas stations. There are a couple of memorial services for 20-somethings that I know of. There are also two births to celebrate. Sunday, we finally had a baby shower for my friend who almost died of a blood infection which resulted in her delivering twins at 20 weeks. Only one baby survived. Saturday will be the first anniversary of my friend whose 7 year-old daughter died. Life feels a bit precarious this week.

Please pray for baby Ping who had heart surgery on Tuesday. He is Chinese and was able to have the surgery because of The Red Thread. Please check it out and pray for this sweet baby boy.

Random Ramblings

Things I Learned Today (But really should have known already)

Happy 7th Birthday

Max

BBB2

crazy

Are You Blessed?

moving forward

choices

my lie

better 2gether

beginning another year

the second anniversary

deep thoughts

My Sweeties!

Juliet!

roses and chocolate are nice, but will he take care of you postpartum?

the silence

Happy Birthday Jacob!

LOST or "for such a time as this"

I can't take a compliment

check-up

F is for family

the corporate ladder

Random Ramblings

Updates

*sigh*

Making Time for Friends

25,000 Diapers

A bit of forgiveness

1.22.2009

Dear Mother,

20 weeks

Will I ever work again?

IT'S GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME

new family member

God's love for Us

Ping

Making a statement...

shameless use of my blog

PAYBACK

Family pictures

tv appearance tonight!...maybe

Lima Beans

Election

This American Moment — The Surprises

Baby Ping needs your prayers

Picture Update

*warning* politics

Happy Anniversary

Long Weekend

Go Mom

work day

Super Saturday

homework answer

Ping is out of the hospital

for the moms

tv appearance...maybe

update on Baby Ping

love my kids

Bear Scare

Don't Wait Until Nov 4 to VOTE

Births and Deaths

sigh

warning politics